SEO Speak Translated: The Real SEO Glossary
*
In the SEO industry agencies, experts and even bloggers have adopted a special mode of speech not to say
slang that might be misunderstood by outsiders
like clients, website visitors or the general public. To help you understand what search engine optimization experts really mean I devised this real glossary of SEO speak:
- We offer Search Engine Optimization/SEO = We assume you are the Google bot and want you to index this page for both keywords
- We offer Search Engine Optimisation = Our SEO company is based in the UK
- Guaranteed top positions = We place Google Adwords for you
- We do SEO, SEM, PPC to increase your ROI = We do not want you to know what we do
- We stick to the Google Webmaster Guidelines = We only break them in a way that we assume Google won’t notice
- We tell you how to make money online = We want you to click on our ads
- 10 ways of making money online = Those are our 10 affiliates, please click on the respective undisclosed ads
- We offer social media marketing = We buy Facebook ads for you
- We offer link baiting services = We want to put those drunk naked ladies video on your site
- Our network = Our link farm
- Authority sites = Sites that do no SEO
- Black hat SEO = We do anything to get rich quick, even if your site gets banned
- White hat SEO = We only cheat Google where we have to, others do it too, come on!
- We optimize for Google, Yahoo, Bing, Ask = If we fail on Google you still have to pay
- Search Engine Submission = We need your mail address, those guys offered us $$$ for each 1000 verified addresses
- Partners = People we never heard of until we exchanged links
- PageRank optimization = Sorry, we just started doing SEO and do not have a clue
- SEO India = We offer 1000 links for 30$
- Alexa optimization = All our employees have the Alexa Toolbar installed, it really works!
- We offer content, inbound or digital marketing – We’re ashamed of practicing SEO
In case you have more SEO terms that you do not understand feel free to ask me in the comments!
Last updated: July 2nd, 2015.
* Still from the Motion picture Lost in Translation
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sooo funny! I laughed so hard! those are real SEO bullshit ah?
this one was the funniest:
Our network = Our link farm
keep on going! I like it.
-John
You made my day!
..und neue Lachfalten.
Long Tail – please explain me this wonderful keyword.
Monika
Monika: Long Tail = You can not afford those main keywords
Shufuni: I removed your homepage link as it was not safe for work, I did not consider it spam though as Akismet did. Note to myself: I still have to formulate my commenting rules.
Its most funny / Authority sites = Sites that do no SEO :-)
[…] SEO 1.0 that sticks to link building using links that barely anyone click will fail in an environment where […]
<p>This is really true. A lot of SEO agencies do same what you wrote. I was smiling all the time reading this SEO lesson.</p>
“We offer Search Engine Optimisation = Our SEO company is based in the UK”
New Zealand too mate (The Queen ‘reigns but does not rule.) ;)
What about ‘ethical SEO’? I read that some time ago. ‘We feel better than all other SEO-ers’
[…] you want more specialized linguistic guidance? You might want to read the real SEO glossary which sheds a light on what SEO experts mean when they speak of search engine optimization and the […]
Hey – I object to that!!!
I had just started to learn the basics of SEO a few years back and knew about keywords and inbound links and all that advanced stuff.
And there I met a guy who needed some SEO done and asked me if I do SEO….
….
….
SURE! I said!!!
Cheers,
Merlin
[…] Indlægget, der skal huskes. […]
Like your style! I love the ‘Guaranteed top positions’ hahaha! Quality post, it really made me giggle.
lol! Hilarious!
Especially the 10 affiliates. But that’s just me, when I was new to the internet
I didn’t know anything about affiliate marketing and thought people would promote things really because they thought it was good. Now I don’t trust anyone on the web promoting anything any more :)
Vertaling: Not all affiliates are cheating and not be trusted. One of my ads on SEO 2.0 above right is an affiliation too. If there is full disclosure and the product is a really good one affiliate marketing is OK. Sadly the standards are really really low as of today.
well, we can also say, that there is no difference between black and white seo,