Why You Shouldn’t Read my SEO Blog

Hairy Tarantula spider on black background. It's scary but beautiful.

Have you ever read the Cornwall SEO blog? Me neither. Cornwall SEO Lyndon Antcliff aka Lyndoman offers just 19 reasons why you should not read his SEO blog. I can easily surpass that!

Therefore I offer you not twice as many reasons not to read my SEO blog, I offer you three times as many reasons to ignore this SEO blog altogether! 57 reasons not to read my SEO 2.0 blog:

  1. My English is bad, as I’m a Pole living in Germany
  2. I use no pictures, watch out or such search engine spiders (picture above) will get you!
  3. I rank #1 in Google for SEO bullshit
  4. I rank #1 in Google for Fuck SEO
  5. I think about asking for a job at the Google anti-Spam team
  6. I never visited a SEO conference like Lyndoman because I assume that I know more than the speakers
  7. I wear a ridiculous sombrero on my avatar image
  8. It’s not even me on that picture
  9. I blog for fun not for cash
  10. I offended Rand Fishkin at least twice
  11. Nobody links to me besides the people that link to me anyway
  12. I poke fun at SEO
  13. I hate SEO thus only practice SEO 2.0
  14. I’m Mad Tad, the SEO destroyer
  15. I will take away your clients while you’re asleep
  16. I love Iran!
  17. I rank in the top 10 in Google for “I hate Digg“
  18. I dismiss Reddit as full of haters
  19. I fight haters
  20. I dismiss StumbleUpon as dead
  21. I do not even optimize my own SEO blog for any useful keyphrase, like SEO blog e.g.
  22. I use offensive language like “bullshit, fuck” in the first place
  23. I let people flatter me in the comments although I know they only want a link
  24. I offer free website reviews just to lure visitors and then need weeks to write them
  25. I dismiss black hat SEOs along with SEO haters
  26. I rank above you for best SEO company (your country)
  27. I will beat John Chow, Rand Fishkin and Matt Cutts
  28. I will make you lose your job after people realize that in SEO 2.0 they do not need conventional SEO
  29. I am an egoist, always beginning sentences with “I”
  30. I can tell you 30 reasons why you should not read my blog
  31. I will steal someone’s idea and make it twice as good
  32. I am the best SEO blogger on the planet and look down on you
  33. I am 33 years old and still not rich and famous
  34. I will kick your ass, been flaming for ten years on the net
  35. I never met Angelina Jolie
  36. I do not even drive a car because I spend all my money on organic food
  37. My blog has more visitors than yours although it’s only 6 weeks old
  38. I do not respect authorities
  39. My posts have no dates
  40. Life is too short to read SEO blogs anyway
  41. I’m funnier than you and your crew!
  42. I use dirty blogging tricks you never even heard of
  43. I am too lazy to create my own WordPress theme
  44. I am big in China, Russia, Iran and other rogue states (enemies of the US)
  45. I can outrank you out of the blue if you annoy me
  46. I never wore a tie in my entire life
  47. I am not a business man and I do no marketing
  48. I invent new terms that nobody else uses
  49. I translate German idioms into English
  50. I do no link exchange if you ask me to
  51. I am too cool to buy links while you spend hundreds of $$$ for them
  52. I do not check my blog’s PageRank and I laugh off those who do
  53. I do not even depend on Google for my traffic
  54. I have no ads on my blog, maybe the CIA pays me?
  55. I am a populist
  56. I am arrogant to the core
  57. I suck!

Where are you now Lyndoman?! You have to admit: You can’t compete with Mad Tad, the SEO destroyer! Admit it! Come on! Or I will outrank you!

 

Last updated: June 30th, 2017.

 

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