SEO 3.0 – Hanging Out With the Hipsters
It has been already many years ago when I started the SEO 2.0 blog. SEO 2.0 is stale by now. There is business as usual by now. At least when it comes to SEO 2.0!
- No innovation.
- No next big thing.
- No risk no fun!
On the other hand there really is the next big thing already flourishing! It’s SEO 3.0! I’ve joked about SEO 3.0 in the past already but this time I want to write about it for real. No kidding!
SEO 3.0 is all about local, mobile and social mixed together to form the new Web of real people. The locomoso (short for local, mobile, social) is a game changer. It involves
- big data
- machine learning
- Internet of things
- tracking vibrators
The Web as we know it with people hiding behind avatars and “surfing the Web” on their personal computers is so last decade, the zero years so to say.
From now on real people will socialize location based with their mobiles. So in short SEOs will be hanging around with the hipsters.
Today web based early adopters are already late. Hipsters are not limited to the virtual Web. They form a real Web with their
- GPS devices
- real time reviews
- smart t-shirts
We had WiFi detectors in the past both on backpacks and t-shirts. Today you can detect your local friends via smart t-shirts. You review
in real time and tell your friends:
“I’m at the Lady Gaga concert. She sucks big time, a giant plastic dick. We’re going to the suicide karaoke bar next door.”
Such messages are common these days. People move from one location to another, tell their peers and within minutes your shop, bar or concert hall might become empty as a church on Sunday.
As an SEO 3.0 you can’t just stay online with your computer.
You take your iPhone or Android smartphone, purchase the latest apps and mingle with the hipsters. Or rather you become a hipster yourself!
How to become a hipster? No problem:
- Nobody ever says s/he’s a hipster so don’t tell anybody you are one. Just be hip! Everybody will notice!
- Dress in ridiculous colors like you imagine the eighties. Pink jeans, long beards, glitter hats, “eat the rich” for 100$ t-shirts. Remember to be ironic while at it!
- Make sure you have the latest and most expensive trendy hipster products by Nike or Apple.
- Hipsters don’t care for slave labor Made in China as long it’s cool so make sure to never speak about politics.
- Drink cocktails with bizarre names you never have heard of. Never mind the ingredients.
- As long as you’re undercover you even have to take drugs (or better take placebos and behave like drugged).
- Be arrogant and aloof. Somebody wears the wrong brand or has a Windows mobile phone? Ridicule the fool.
- Use Web slang like “epic FAIL”, “LOL” and “OMG” in real life as well. Hipsters are both online and offline all the time.
- Never have a boy or girlfriend or “date” someone regularly. Hipsters are only mating randomly when drunk ideally using Tinder.
- Make sure to post your “wasted” pics while drunk or having sex in real time on Instagram!
- Never care for tomorrow: Peak oil, climate change, LHC black holes? Forget the doom, consume!
- Use #hashtags offline. Especially when talking about things! People really do! No joke! When doing it poke fun at yourself at the same time.
When you’re a hipster SEO 3.0 becomes a completely natural part of you. You don’t have have to optimize anymore. You become SEO 3.0 while becoming a hipster. Are you SEO 3.0?
First published: April 1st, 2010. Last updated on June, 29th 2018.