My Google List of Demands

Some of my favorite SEO bloggers started a meme and one of them asked me to jump on the bandwagon and devise a Google wish list.

I like them so I wanted to take part.

On the other hand I do not beg anybody, especially not a multinational corporation like Google.

Google and the Chinese Regime

After all it abused human rights in anti-democratic countries like China implementing censorship on a large scale. I have a background in media activism among other influences so I know that

you do not ask multinational corporations to do something, you exert pressure on them.

One of the ways to do that is media exposure of their shortcomings. The more bad publicity the better.

We’ve seen several instances of it with the

• Coca Cola murders in Colombia
• the Nike child labor in Asia
• the Apple toxic waste scandal

Google’s scandal is still on the agenda, at least for over a billion Chinese people out there so sorry, but my Google wish list will step out of the SEO confines.

Here is my list of demands for Google:

1. Get the fuck out of China! Now! Stop all that phony PR talk about it.
2. Stop collecting all available data about everybody, make a real commitment to privacy.
3. Quit that proprietary black box Google algo charade, it’s ridiculous, open source it!
4. Stop collaborating with US intelligence services just to get better satellite footage
5. Stop this John Doe webmaster selling two or three links to get by scare and fix your damn ranking factors
6. Fix that ridiculous “false friend” lost in translation mistake in the German Webmaster Guidelines: “copywriting” is not “writing copyright notices”, it’s been there for over 2 years now [done after a few more years]
7. Come clean with your announcements and stop misusing Matt Cutt’s private blog to denounce webmasters
8. Instead of spitting out new alpha services like your rudimentary social bookmarking improve your existing services instead of throwing them away like Google Answers because they do not perform (how can they if you neglect them?)
9. Quit that “do no evil” hypocrisy. Google is a multinational. In power the abuse of it is inherent, so don’t treat me like a kid who believes in fairy tales. [done a few years later]
10. Most SEOs work for you for free because you fail to rank websites correctly without their help. Reach out to the SEO community and appreciate it. I’m sick and tired being labeled a spammer by the public. SEO is good for Google. Admit it!
11. Unban John Chow, your results are ludicrous now, banning a Chinese expatriate while censoring the results in China sheds a new “light” on you

As I want this meme to become a more general and critical one I want to ask these 5 bloggers what’s on their Google wish list:

1. Philipp Lenssen of Google Blogoscoped
2. Logo designer David Airey
3. The Google Tutor
4. Jeff of sustainablog.org
5. Any Chinese blogger who reads that, preferably John Chow himself