Unofficial Google Newspeak Glossary: Manual Action in Commercial Relationships

A man wearing a red hoody sweat-shirt stretching his hand forward with his palm open. He looks scary because you can't see his face and the hand seems to want to grab you.

Euphemisms are often made up words that are meant to hide the real (in most cases negative) meaning of existing terms.


Killing in the name of

For example the thing the US government refers to as “targeted killings” is basically an assassination which in turn is simply murder.

As you’ll see there are often several levels of camouflage to make a horrific thing sound quite nice.

Such terms are often used by governments and corporations. The more obnoxious a government or corporation the worse the linguistic fall out.


The Google overlords who rule the Web

You may have noticed that Google has also become one of the most active creators of euphemisms in recent years despite being “just” a corporation.

Such language world renowned author George Orwell coined as “newspeak” is often difficult to discern at all and ultimately also to understand.

Thus I decided to provide an unofficial Google newspeak glossary for all those who want to grasp the real meanings behind the cryptic announcements by the Internet giant.

In case you still don’t know what manual action in commercial relationships means read on.

The glossary structure is as follows:

  1. first the Google euphemism
  2. what it probably sounds like for most people
  3. what the more official term was until now
  4. what it actually means plus an example of actual usage.
Google Newspeak What most people think it means Formerly known as What it really means Example
manual action hand job penalty ban we have taken manual action
commercial relationships prostitution paid inclusion paid links commercial relationships ensure quality
paid links prostitution text link ads ads from Google competitors Report paid links to Google
privacy porn encrypted search pay for data enhanced privacy
sunsetting sex on the beach closing down failure Google Wave sunsetting
penguin [too many outrageous sexual meanings] over optimization SEO Penguin update
removing kicking butt deleting censorship Google removes millions of links

Are there more Google terms we need to translate to make sure most people do not mistake them for sexual metaphors? Tell me in the comments.

Don’t forget to add the translation too! Btw. Do you also practice manual action in commercial relationships? You dirty rascal!

Last updated: May 3rd, 2018.