Sweetest Fight Ever: Hot Chocolate vs White Sugar
Do you remember how I defeated Lyndon of Cornwall SEO last time? Now he attempts a comeback on the link baiting scene.
No chance man, White Sugar, formerly known as Mad Tad the SEO Destroyer is still the monarch!
So let’s take a look at his renewed attempt, submitting an old post to StumbleUpon. He proposes 13 link baiting headlines about chocolate to choose from.
While some of them are not bad for beginners of SEO 2.0 they are by far not sufficient for SEO 2.0 superheroes.
Mad Tad the SEO destroyer will teach you Lyndon! No wall of corn may protect you when White Sugar strikes!
At first I will optimize his proposed 13 headlines, then I will come up with another 13 which will be at least 5 times as good as his original ideas.
Lyndon’s headlines first, the optimized version following:
- 28 Reasons why chocolate is the new super food | 33 Reasons Why Chocolate is the New Milk
- Ten tips to using chocolate in your diet | 10 Chocolate Cheats to Outsmart Your Body
- Ways to impress your guests with after dinner chocolate | Don’t Shoot Me! I Just Made Your Wife Happy With Chocolate
- Fellas, did you know that woman are more open to suggestion after eating chocolate | In Bed with Madonna, Guy: I Served Chocolate
- How chocolate can send you to heaven and back | Sweet Enlightenment? New Chocolate Meditation
- How to lose weight without reducing your chocolate habit | Loose Fat, Eat More Chocolate!
- Amazing benefits of chocolate revealed | Olympic Athletes Eat More Chocolate Than You!
- Pound for pound chocolate is healthier than a carrot | 0 Calories Chocolate Invented
- Chocolate! Why it’s a potent drug. And still legal! | Man Arrested for Sniffing White Chocolate
- Gain crucial antioxidants, simply by eating chocolate | Gain Strengths Now: Eat Chocolate
- How eating chocolate can increase your muscle mass | Chocolate Better Than Steroids
- What chocoholics know about the secret of sexual temptation | I Killed for Chocolate Chocoholic Admits
- Why some women eat tons of chocolate and yet stay thin | True Stories: This Women Loose weight By Eating Chocolate
Now check out these 13 exclusive killer headlines by Mad Tad the SEO destroyer!
- Jane 22: Chocolate Saved my Life!
- Paris: The Chocolate Killer Takes Another Victim
- New Study: Men Love Women Eating Chocolate
- The Chocolate War: Numerous Civilians Affected
- Iran to Ban Chocolate in Drug Law
- Stop Me Before I Do It: Chocolate Lowers Suicide Rate
- Reach Eternal Bliss with Chocolate
- Scientists: Chocolate Can End World Hunger
- Tesco: 6 Injured in Last Chocolate Bar Fight
- Fidel Castro on Death Bed: Chocolate Better Than Communism
- Chocolate Gate: “Voters Bribed with Chocolate” FBI Spokesman Says
- Tragic Death: Suspect Shot After Reaching for Chocolate Bar
- Use Chocolate to Get Rich and Famous, I Did
If you take a second look at my headlines and my optimization of Lyndon’s headlines, I just did, you will notice at least 7 key guidelines to write killer headlines:
- Touch topics people really care about: Love, death, beauty, health, sex, crime, humanity, money…
- Be bold, very bold, promise the ultimate, exaggerate as much as you can in a headline without sounding ridiculous
- Do not be afraid to touch negative issues, while still being overall positive
- Instead of limiting your scope be off topic and connect it to yours
- Write like a poet working for a tabloid, use graphic language metaphors, oxymorons, hyperboles
- Include personal aspects, Don’t write “objectively”, be very emotional
- Doing something illegal sound adventurous, pose as a law breaker
Do aim as high as you can. Do not limit yourself while brainstorming, thinking about how a headline could offend somebody or similar issues. You still can delete it afterwards.
Now what Lyndon? Strike back if you can! Come on, don’t be a wimp!
When you read this and think this guy is plain crazy, I want him to marry my daughter, you don’t need that hassle.
From now on I will offer “killer headline services” for link baiting. 50$ per headline. It’s sounds cheap, but I only need some minutes to come up with several. You get 5 suggestions for this price.
looks like taddle is tempting me into the mental asylum that is his mind.
I am sure you thought you won last time, delusion is a wonderful thing.
Some of your attempts are not bad, nearly as good as mine. Don’t give up though, keep trying, you will get there eventually.
You bloody liar! Let the pople decide. The winner is who gets more reviews at StumbleUpon! Our own ones do not count.
Tad – I feel like I have stepped into a Star Wars battle with Luke Skywalker against Darth Vader.
“Be bold, very bold, promise the ultimate, exaggerate as much as you can in a headline without sounding ridiculous”
Well Thats an exaggeration :-/
anyways Interesting Post ..
Mark: Then who is Luke and who is Darth in this case? ;-)
nishu: Ask yourself, what do you prefer: “Some Windwos features I discovered” or “The most underestimated Windows hacks uncovered”?
Darth and Luke? more like Laurel and Hardy, lol
The headlines are brilliant! They are sure to get a lot of social media love.
But will these articles get many links?
Well, that Yoav, depends on the contents. The headline alone can not guarantee links.
[…] Sweetest Fight Eve: Hot Chocolate vs White Sugar @ SEO […]
Ha, ha! Both you and Lyndon are great! At least your number 5 made me laugh like crazy. Are you going to actually write some articles for these headlines, or we should just use our imagination?
lol….would be interesting to see the final results. I find both headlines enticing!
Your headlines are well written and attractive on first look. But Tad, am i in the middle of a war zone? Looks like you and Lyndon are challenging each other…Stumbled
This was hilarious and inspiring at once.
“Killer headline services,” huh? Talk about original business ideas! :D
I don’t think I will start a chocoloate blog soon. If I did, I would have post ideas with headlines for several weeks.
A decent fight is good inpsiration and killer headline services is a qucik shot but one that fits.
Awesome and inspirational. Enjoyed.
Way to rock the headlines market Tad. :)
[…] them in such way, that they are irresistable. Use eye-grabbing headlines (one of my favorites: 33 Reasons why chocolate is the new milk), write controversial posts, improvize. Make it stick in people’s […]
Interesting battle going on here.
I really buy into your aggressive-but-believable strategy. It works for naming products and companies too. We use similar measurements in our industry (naming) and they count for about a quarter of the strengths or weaknesses of a name.
[…] on the topic of getting the right title for your posts / articles, I found the recent post on SEO2.0 challenging Lyndon’s skills both interesting and amusing. Then I came across this article in […]
I like your style.
<p>[…] Be cautious. Don’t use killer headlines irresponsibly. They might kill! Especially if you refer to chocolate. […]</p>
You boys are great, it is pure luck I stumbled upon this. Keep them coming :)
This CHOCOLATE looks very good.. i m watering in my mouth
They are killer headlines. How can readers stay calm and not to click on those links.
Really those headlines would bring about any body to click on the links. And what happened to the War? WHo won :)