Internet Lies Translated

Did you notice? On the Web some words never mean what they sound like. No joke!

Often they signify something they were never intended to mean in real life or when first coined.

Some terms and expressions just do not reflect what they were meant for originally.

Sadly most people still don’t realize it. I want to help you know and forever! See below!

How the Web Lies to You and What it Really Means

To make you more web-savvy I collected a often told Internet lies and translated them into what they really mean.

You probably have come across a lot but never really understood their true meaning.

Fasten your seat belts. To help you, I translated them to explain and add some much need context.

  1. Coming Soon: I don’t know when, probably never. Often seen on websites that are “under construction” indefinitely.
  2. Free: use it it for free now, we make you pay later, once you depend on it. Also: pay with your data. Most free online services including Google and Facebook.
  3. No strings attached: we know you distrust us for a good reason. Sleazy marketers love that phrase.
  4. Copyright [current year]: this site might be abandoned but runs a script that updates the year in the copyright notice. Stingy website owners are always scared of getting their content shared.
  5. Interesting photos: stolen images. I just don’t know anything about them besides that they were popular elsewhere so they must be “interesting”. Also: creative images and the likes. Content theft!
  6. Make money online: click our ads! We get commission from these affiliate networks. Still popular MMO strategy.
  7. Privacy policy: we just use your data for advertising, or when the NSA, CIA, FBI, GOP, DIY asks us to. In case another company buys us we can also sell our user database. Also called profiling policy.
  8. Click here: we know you are a dummy that does not know how the Internet works. This is not a call to action.
  9. Is now open source: we let others do the work for free and then earn big $$$ by reselling it. Google products are open source nowadays. So what? They still own Android and Chrome. You can just see the code and re-use it according to their rules.
  10. Social: this will transform your social life into a virtual computer game. It’s the opposite of social life.

Want more truths about the Web? Try these. Do you want more specialized linguistic guidance?

You might want to read the real SEO glossary It’s hilarious!

It sheds a light on what SEO experts mean when they speak of search engine optimization and the likes.