Bonsai Blogging: How to Fail with Social Media
You might not be interested in succeeding with social media.
Boosting traffic, being bookmarked, getting new visitors, increasing your number of subscribers and AdSense revenues might all conflict with your blog’s growth plan.
If you prefer to stay away from this hype and grow organically, follow this procedure that I named: The Bonsai Blogging Strategy; results are almost guaranteed.
Bonsai Blogging is the art of miniaturizing traffic by blogging into an isolated container. This method has proven to be efficient for stopping growth, allowing you to fail with dignity.
The Bonsai method is not yet available in ebook, however there is a serious project of mentorship currently under writing. Just as a teaser, here’s some guidelines to help you implement Bonsai Blogging.
Register on Social Media Sites
This may sound contradictory, but yes, the very first step would be to register multiple accounts at some of the most popular social media sites.
I insist on multiple accounts because we will use this strategy later to boost the votes of our stories. Start your registration process with the following sites:
- Digg
- StumbleUpon
- Delicious
Submit ALL Your Own Posts
OK, you are now ready to start mass submitting your content. From now on, each time you publish a new article submit it!
Whether it is junk or not, you will submit it to the sites listed above with your master account, i.e. the first one you created.
This is important because we want to make sure to leave clear evidence of the Bonsai pattern. Then, logout and log back in with your other accounts and vote your stories like hell.
The more accounts you have, the better chances you have to reach your Bonsai goal. Just keep on pushing no matter what it takes!
Submit Only Your Posts
Now please, pay attention here. The whole concept of social media sites resides in the fact that you are “socializing”.
Do you think this fits well with the Bonsai? Not at all. If by mistake you submit someone else’s post, the person might return the favour, and this would seriously compromise your goal.
This is true for your entire network of social media user accounts. See, your blog is like the Sun and your accounts the planets gravitating around.
Just make sure they keep turning around your blog focusing on your own posts. Remember, content is king, and so are you, so just submit your own material.
Remove Social Media Widgets
Have you tried, or worse, installed the ShareThis WordPress Plugin? If so, get rid of it, now! This gives you enormous potential at your fingertips.
It’s probably the best social media plugin available, linking your readers to most of the top social media submission pages.
Installation is a piece of cake and you can even customize the colour palette so that it fits your blog’s theme. Bad, very bad for Bonsai.
Beware of Power Users
Don’t pay attention to top users. They are known to be trustworthy sources for submitting content to social media sites. Imagine the damage these persons could do to your work.
Because they are recognized as Power Users, everything they submit gets more attention simply because it’s coming from them. You should neither contact them nor add them as your friends.
To stay away from Power Users, I recommend doing the complete opposite as what’s being said in this article from Maki at Dosh Dosh: How to Influence Powerful Social Media Users
Unsubscribe from SEO 2.0
The Bonsai Blogging Strategy goes in a totally opposite direction than the great tips you would find here on Tad’s SEO 2.0 blog.
If you follow my mentorship I promise you will fail with dignity, and once you are done, why would you need Tad’s expertise anymore?
Finally, if you need proof that submitting your own content could get you banned, I recommend reading the following article: Ever Stumbled Your Own Post?
This Guest Post was submitted by Patrick from Piggy Bank Pie. If you are looking for guest or ghostwriting services, visit Piggy Bank Pie’s Writing Services.
This is the first time that I have read a conflict such as this. I will take a good look at this and maybe consider blogging about this specific and interesting post of yours.
Patrick – great post!
Is Bonsai blogging like kamikazee blogging? ;)
That’s right Lid, just more poetics :-)
Dammit! I just added this to SU. Now I’ll never die with dignity.
Should I hold out any hope of soiling my reputation, or just kill myself now?
mmm Blogging Zoom not in the list. But that is ok Happy Holidays from Blogging Zoom and I just Zoomed you.
Vic
Patrick, I can tell for a fact that this is one of your best posts ever — if not THE best one of all. Congratulations! :)
I take full responsability Vic… sorry about that ;-)
http://www.bloggingzoom.com
Thank you Karen, that’s very nice of you.
Patrick
Hehehe, Like the wit and the tips! I’ve been stumbling a bit (which is how I found my way here!) and really enjoy it. Thanks for the heads up on top stumblers and their power.
Look forward to getting to know you better through your Stumble posts
Warmest wishes
Shelley
Thank you Shelley. And yes, top stumblers or Top Diggers both have great power ;-)
Please visit us again.
Patrick
Thyanx for saving your best post for last…You have 2 days to top this incredible post…begin, NOW!
[…] You’ll notice a difference in the writing style, I’ll let you find out. The title is Bonsai Blogging: How to Fail with Social Media, it is about what not to do… or what to do, to fail with Social Media, or to succeed with […]
Hey Patrick, love the post. Bonsai blogging looks like an essential component of killing your blog. I’m afraid I still have a lot to learn about Bonsai blogging, as I have stumbled and zoomed this post. :)
@Solacetech: You’ll be disapointed, because my next post on PiggyBnakPie will be a monthly/yearly review of my site, and the projects for 2008 ;-) But please, keep reading it, I swear you’ll be happy with the content in 2008.
p.s.: Keep reading SEO 2.0 too ;-)
Thanks for the kind words
Patrick
Hehehehe, very good! Patrick I can give you one uber strategy to add to bonsai bogging, sure to make any blog a display piece of stunted growth. But it is only for the very determined. And, *Kids, don’t try this at home!*
Manage to contract a disorder or disease that causes constant pain, fatigue and generally disables you but does not have any medical chance of killing you in the next 20 years so that all medical professionals are in no hurry to attend to your case and you get the longest possible wait for the fix-it surgery possible. It’s important that the pain affects arms and fingers so that typing and mouse clicking all hurt while you wait for surgery. I personally assure such disorders are out there. :-? Your blog posting will dwindle and social instincts naturally atrophy so that following the rest of the bonsai plan is a piece of cake. It helps if you don’t tell anyone you have a health “issue” so that people think you’re either a slacker and/or anti-social.
As I said, or meant to say, it’s not for the faint of heart. :)
Essie
Very good post Patrick. An good way of conveying what we should not be doing in blogging.
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This post is really useful if you read it and apply the tips only in reverse :)
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wow, if people do even a small part of what you say here, the truth must really hurt them.
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